EAT-PRAY-SWIM, Lucky tests + for COVID and more…

Yes, I have tested positive for COVID, and no, regardless of the rumors swirling about my Jet setting ways, I did not get it from Nancy Pelosi. Although, I have been contacted by the state department for close proximity one-on-one negotiation with Valdemar Putin. They say I am perfect for the job, but they only have a window of the next five days to set up a meeting. I am honored that the state department feels I have the unique qualities required for successful international diplomacy. However, I have respectfully declined due to the following state department dictator greeting protocol:

  1. When approaching President Putin, crouch down to make your mouths line up on the same plane, smile big, hyperventilate, do not lose eye contact as you advance and keep puffing.
  2. Cough in the palm of your hand; follow this with a firm handshake.
  3. Kiss each cheek and rub your alar rim and mucosa in his sideburns.
  4. Follow this with a forcible French kiss.

I, of course, have a problem with the firm handshake requirement as Putin’s grip is reported by TASS to have the strength of ten bears, and I don’t want to risk my underwater hockey-playing hand. So, I have requested the State Department give my apologies to Mr. Putin and please send him my regrets and a box of cigars. I saw a nice box sitting in a CIA warehouse on a dusty shelf labeled “operation mongoose” with a marker scrawled over the label saying, “no longer needed,” dated 11/25/16.

So, how does my positive COVID test affect the lake swim? Not at all.  I will be self-isolating according to the current medical protocols, which change every 23 seconds. The swim goes on as usual, and I will wave at you from the house windows unless you are on my enemies list, and then I will jump out from behind a bush and greet you close and personal. Wait one darn minute! I now realize what the state department was trying to do, those shameless sly dogs. They didn’t care one whit about my international negotiating skills; they only wanted me to demonstrate that Putin didn’t have the hand strength of ten bears. So, I am on to you, state department; you must be an early worm to put one by me. I have read Jethro Bodine’s book how to be a double naught spy, so that’s how I figured your little plot out so quickly.

Currently, I am doing okay with only minor chest congestion. I was double vaccinated and boostered, plus I always wear a mask to protect my patients in my office. As you know, the vaccines don’t prevent infection or transmission of the virus, but they do help keep you out of the ICU and dying (I am counting on them being right on this one). I have been checking out many alternative treatments for mild covid infections. I have selected one that I feel will work well for my situation, massive doses of blackberry cobbler. Since none of the other alternative treatments have panned out so far, I figure this one won’t either, but the delivery route is more enjoyable. Just to be clear, I am talking orally, not IV or suppositories. Should I worsen, I will institute my DEFCON 1 plan which will be to go to the courthouse and officially change my birthday to 9/26/00.

I will be at EAT- PRAY-SWIM as this is a definite go. This is a sunrise service at 6:58 AM on Easter Sunday, April 17th. Please attend as Tom Welch will again be performing the sermon, and his ego needs a big boost. He has been living in the shadow of his superstar wife, who was selected as Orange County’s teacher of the year. Tom, who used to be 6’7″, has now shrunk down to 5’1″. You can’t possibly know what it feels like standing with your wife in front of a step and repeat banner and having the paparazzi say, “little man, take ten steps to the left,” and there are only eight steps to the edge of the podium. Doctors say some of the shrinkage might be reversible.

What do you need to bring?

  1. Family members
  2. A blanket or chairs to sit on.
  3. A swimsuit (we swim right after the sermon)
  4. An appetite (we eat after the swim. Our traditional pancake breakfast)
  5. All offerings go to the Children’s Ranch

Don’t forget to Sign up for the Golden Mile. The race is on May 28th. We are already over a third filled. Don’t wait until the last minute and get shut out. The swim is limited to 300, and all the proceeds go to the Lake Cane Restoration Society.


People magazine has named Tom Welch’s wife Nancy as the greatest wife of a preacher doing easter swims sermons. Congratulations Nancy. The galas and accolades will continue.


It’s crazy for folks to suggest that I became COVID + because of my work in a corona lab. I now regret eating that bat stew. Video

Kathleen Fitzgerald  tried for years to set a lake swim record with her patented water repellant cap. Wisely she ditched the cap this year and set the woman’s 65-69 record with a time of 20:58 on march 26th.

All the SWAG for the Golden Mile is starting to arrive, patches, bumper stickers, yo-yos, T-shirts and more. Sign up Now don’t get closed out on!


Special Olympians and unified partners training for the USA Games Inaugural open water swim. The even is to be held on June 8th hosted at Lucky’s Lake Swim. History being made as this is the first open water swim to be held as part of the Special Olympics USA games. ESPN will be covering the games. Gregg Dedic (a Lucky’s  Lake Swim 1000K club member) has qualified for the swim.  Go Gregg!

Transgender Swimming and Lucky’s Lake Swim

Lucky’s Lake Swim always has and always will be open to anyone that enjoys the love of swimming. We don’t care what country you were born in, your political party, race or religion, whether you are rich or poor, your age, your genotype, or how you identify yourself. The only thing that matters is the love of open water swimming.

HOWEVER: We do have divisions when setting lake swim records or winning awards in the Golden Mile® or the Rowdy and Lucky 1.5 K race. They are XY genotype (Formerly known as the male division) and XX genotype (Formerly known as the female division). Additionally, we have a Special Olympics Division. So again, we don’t care how you identify, but for awards and records, these are the divisions.

These rules are not new; the Golden Mile® has always had them in place, and you can see them in the FAQ section on the Golden Mile website.

Opinion statement from Lucky on the Lia Thomas transgender swimming issue.

Lia Thomas is, of course, welcome, to join us for our daily swims. I would love to have her join us for a swim, and our swimming community, with open arms, will welcome her. I’m sure she has some fascinating stories. However, she or other transgender women will not be allowed to set course records in the genotype XX divisions, only the genotype XY. Although having seen her times, she can set genotypic XY course records should she choose.

The NCAA and the International Olympic Committee have their own set of rules. They allow transgender males (genotype XY) that identify as women to compete against females (genotype XX) if they have had testosterone suppression for a year. Is this a good rule? Sure, if your goal was to get folks watching women’s events in the NCAA championships, Thomas’s swims broke all kinds of viewing records; otherwise a terrible rule. However, most competitive swimmers, male or female, believe this is unfair.

The proof is Lia Thomas winning the woman’s NCAA national championships this year in the 500 free. Lia, a genotype XY male who is 6′ 3″, grew up swimming as a male and competed for three years for Penn’s men’s swim team. As a male, he was an excellent swimmer making the Ivy league finals (4:18.7 500 free), but not a great swimmer as he couldn’t make NCAA cuts for men. After undergoing two years of testosterone suppression therapy, she began competing in the woman’s division and is now the woman’s 500 free NCAA National champion beating out Olympic silver medalist Emma Weyant.

If you read Cheryl Cooky’s article from NBC News Think she would have you believe that Lia Thomas was one of the best things to ever happen to women’s sports, and she should be celebrated.

Cheryl Cooky was never an athlete, but she might equate trying out for your high school gymnastics team her freshman year and quitting being equivalent to the average collegiate swimmer. Swimmers spend a lifetime training to exhaustion every day to be rewarded in college by spending 20 hours a week training and losing weekends to competitions while carrying a full college load. Yet, for the most talented college swimmers, their colligate career’s greatest honor is qualifying for the NCAA championships. Her lack of understanding of swimming is apparent in the first line of her article, “On Saturday, University of Pennsylvania swimmer Lia Thomas placed last in the 100-yard freestyle swim during the NCAA championships.” Lia did not finish last in the 100; she finished 8th place in the finals of a national championship meet which awards All American honors for that finish and scores eleven points for her team.  

By Lia swimming, she has cost three deserving women swimmers all-American honors, took away Emma Weyant’s national title and three other women opportunities to swim in the finals and three more in the consolation finals, as well as affecting overall team scores. So why should this be celebrated?

Cheryl Cooky makes a living blasting the sports media for lack of coverage of women’s sports based on the ridiculous tenet that media controls what the consumer wants to watch. For years, she has espoused that nobody watches women’s sports is the sports media’s fault. From her position, I would assume that we don’t see underwater hockey on primetime sports networks because of the collusion of sports media giants against underwater hockey. Although perhaps it is because underwater hockey is the world’s worst spectator sport, and ESPN would take a financial bath televising it. Sports programming is about the money. It always has been and always will be. If you don’t believe me, check out how many men’s swimming, gymnastics and wrestling programs have been dropped in the last three decades from division 1 schools compared to the number of men’s basketball and football teams.

Cooky goes on to say, “Moreover, there is a lack of scientific evidence that conclusively demonstrates a direct link between testosterone and athletic performance.” I know, and the earth is flat, and the moon landing was faked. I will agree that if Cooky was given testosterone, it would not affect her athletic performance because you have to work out for it to have an effect.

Cooky is not a swimmer nor an athlete, and she cannot begin to fathom the pain that Lia Thomas has caused for many women swimmers. Clearly, she does not understand the biological differences in the development between genotypic XY and XX individuals.

Her allusions to the transgender sports issue being similar to the civil rights movement, the racial integration into sports, and Jackie Robinson “breaking the color barrier” are farcical at best. What ticks me off the most is that individuals like Cheryl Cooky have a national media voice where the rest of us don’t.  

I respect Lia “Will” Thomas for his accomplishments as a male swimmer but have no respect for having a Y chromosome and taking glory and accolades from deserving female swimmers.

What should happen? Well, Lia didn’t break any NCAA rules and based on that, I would not strip her of her awards, but I would change the rules as they are unfair. The NCAA should division based on not whether a person identifies as a man or woman, but instead on having an XY or XX chromosomal genotype.  

We should all seek to keep women’s swimming equitable and fair. Perhaps the more important concern should be the attack on freedom of speech. Coaches are afraid of speaking out in opposition for fear of losing their jobs; swimmers remain silent as they are scared for their future, and sports commentators are told not to give their opinions. I would defend Cheryl Cookie’s right to promote her ridiculous views to the end. Still, freedom of speech is not letting ivory tower academics have their say while canceling others opposing views through structural intimidation. 

Please stand up for female genotype athletes; they deserve your support; write the NCAA and let them know how you feel.

Happy New Year, Current swim schedule and more . . .

Thirty-five swimmers braved the first swim of 2022 at Lucky’s Lake Swim. Although “braved” is not precisely the correct term to use, the water temperature was nearly 72 degrees. As a result, several of the folks wearing wet suits had to hop in the hot tub after the swim to cool down. Although there was a ponderance of black sausage swimmers, with the wonderful air and water temperatures, they were obviously making a fashion statement as wetsuits were not needed.

Five first time swimmers, Bud making 100K honors, Jim Sullivan makes his 1200 crossing milestone (all you get for that is to ring the big bell 12 times), and Seth Baetzold breaking his record (1st record-breaker for the year) with a time of 13:56 in the 25-29 age group. A busy morning for the lake swim.

We also saw the return of several swimmers that have been MIA for the last many months. New year’s resolutions and all. We shall see if those resolutions to start swimming again last until next Saturday.

Registrations for the Golden mile are now open! But, as the phoenix arises from ashes and fire, the Jay Madigan emerges from the lake muck on Golden Mile Registration opening day. You cannot vaccinate against a Jay Madigan. Your only hope is to register and register early. Otherwise, check beneath your bed every night, as, sooner or later, he will appear there with a sharpened quill pen, dripping with India Ink number 5, and a registration form. His discovery will be followed by his harsh cry of caw, caw … caw, caw all night long. Been there, done that, save yourself, register now.

We are now back to our regular swim schedule Mon-Fri 6:30 AM Saturday’s 7:45 AM.

2022 New Year Day’s at Lucky’s Lake Swim. Thirty-Five swimmers total. Seven haven’t gone to bed yet or stopped drinking, Five hungover hoping the cold water will kill the pain, and two tourists thought they were at Volcano Bay.

First new swimmers of the year. If you drink enough the night before, your alcohol levels may remain high enough that you come to believe swimming a lake in the morning is a good idea.

More newbie swimmers for 2022.

Bud becomes the first new 100K club member for 2022. He is so happy he is going to buy a new Lamborghini for his Lucky’s Lake Swim license plate holder.

Seth breaks his own record in the 25-29 age group. (13:56) His arm posturing is not a sign of joy in breaking the record. He has cramped up that way, but he is now useful for hanging things on. Seth is signed up to swim the English channel in July. We all hope your arms come down by then.

Golden Mile® 2022 Registration is now open! Follow your dreams, after you are done, and you find nothing has changed, sign up for the Golden Mile®.

Lucky’s Lake Swim Holiday Schedule

The water temp is 72.8, which is warmer than the springs. But, folks, this is why we live in Florida. Even Lucky is still swimming in the lake.I can’t explain what a great photo op this is for you to irritate all your friends and family up north completely. Picture yourself standing in the lake in a speedo, fanning yourself, as it’s just too hot. Of course, your winterized friends and family will hate you. You, however, will feel great as Schadenfreude is the next best feeling after love.

Holiday Lucky’s Lake Swim Schedule

7:45 AM Saturday 18th

No Swim Sunday 19th

7:45 AM Monday  20th

7:45 AM Tuesday 21st

7:45 AM Wednesday 22nd

7:45 AM Thursday 23rd

7:45 AM Christmas Eve

No Swim Christmas Day

No Swim Boxer Day Sunday 26th

7:45 AM Monday 27th

7:45 AM Tuesday 28th

7:45 AM Wednesday 29th

7:45 AM Thursday 30th

7:45 AM New Year’s Eve 31st

7:45 New Years Day 2022

No Swim Sunday 2nd

6:30 AM Monday January 3rd back to the normal swim schedule.


Flashback – New Year’s Day Swimmers Last year. There won’t be any Covid signs this year. Yay! Jay is still complaining that someone should have told him he didn’t have to wear his mask during the swim. Jay, it all worked out fine; remember, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. Plus, you didn’t get Covid, even with all the water you swallowed.

Congratulations to Orlando’s Underwater Hockey Team, which repeated as state champions this year. Over half the team is made up of Lucky’s Lake Swimmers. Tom can frequently be seen pushing a puck on the lake’s bottom as he does his morning swim.
We would love to have you join us, as anybody can learn to play. The fact we will take any living person on the team is clearly demonstrated by three of our players being over sixty, known as “Three Curmudgeon Amigos” (Tom, Lucky, and Jay).

Sorry, no Lucky’s lake swimming on Christmas Day. Santa should be resting that morning from all his  activities the previous evening.

Lucky’s Lake Swim Holiday Hours, Poker and More

The water temp is still hanging in the low 70s, but the lake now appears to be one big school of black sausage swimmers. It is still okay to swim without a wetsuit, as we see Lucky out there without one. Lucky serves as our wimp gauge. If Lucky has not retreated into his balmy, temperature-controlled, indoor swimming treadmill, and you are wearing a black sausage suit, you are by definition a wimp. Suppose Lucky is nowhere to be seen, except for the hot tub. In that case, those that continue to choose to swim without a wetsuit are to be revered and honored as real men and women, and they will have seats reserved at the table of the gods in the halls of Valhalla for when they pass to the other side from extreme hypothermia. To those, I say, “feast with Odin for eternity, die cold with your fins on.” For those in wetsuits – no feast for you.

And speaking of feasts, the Holidays are upon us, and it’s time to think about the extreme gustatory pleasures that are rapidly approaching. Of course, for all our maniac calorie counting athletes, this means more exercise must be done to counter the evil consumptions that will occur on T- day. What better way to justify that extra helping of dressing than a lake swim? As with tradition, Lucky’s Lake Swim will be happening on T-day morning to help counteract the sinful gluttony that will occur later in the day. For those of you that choose instead to sit at home watching the Macy’s Day parade, stuffing down caramel-covered apples and slices of warm pumpkin pie, a pox on your conscience.

Holiday Swim Times Thanksgiving week.

Monday 6:30 AM

Tuesday 6:30 AM

Wednesday 7:45 AM

Thanksgiving Day 7:45 AM

Friday 7:45 AM (Poker Night at Lucky’s House for the Lake Cane Restoration Society 6:15 PM)

Saturday 7:45 AM


Black Friday has finally been renamed Poker Night at Lucky’s.

We only have a few seats left. So please let Jay Madigan or Lucky know ASAP if you want a chair at Poker Night which is always fun.

Key Points:

  1. You don’t need to know how to play poker to get a seat. We will have a beginners training session.
  2. The $20,000 buy-in per chair has been reduced to $40. Due to this announcement, Tobey Maguire has pulled out of the tournament, and he will also not be bringing his friend Leonardo.
  3. There will be food and drinks.
  4. $300.00 first prize, $200.00 second place, $100.00 third place, 4th place gets a pat on the back and two attaboys.
  5. No six-shooters or pearl-handled derringers.
  6. The beginner/learning table starts at 6:15 PM; the tournament begins at 7 PM.

    We can’t guarantee this certificate will work when presented, but it is guaranteed to get eye rolls and snotty looks.

    Remember the last movie that you watched and left saying, “boy, I wish I had the last two hours of my life back”, well, this film is so much better that you will only wish for 3 minutes back. Lucky wrote and directed this film and it has been on the film festival circuit over the last year. He is now allowed to share the film with anyone he can con into watching. Sentient starred Maximus Meisenheimer with appearances by Doc Lucky and May Lin Meisenheimer. Sentient was written and directed by Lucky Meisenheimer, M.D., and Shawn Berg was the director of photography.

Deadline tonight at Midnight!!!! And more.

Deadline 1 Deadline for the Rowdy-Lucky 1.5K swim is tonight at Midnight. We have about 100 swimmers signed up so far for this fantastic race on Sunday at 7:45 AM. The predicted water temperature is . . . perfect. Don’t miss your opportunity. The Rowdy-Lucky 1.5K open water swim is a chip-timed race, and we have age group awards for this swim. Register Here.

Deadline 2 If you want to be guaranteed a t-shirt for the 5K Night-Ops Frogman swim, you must register by this Sunday.  The price for the event registration goes up next week, and there is no shirt guarantee. Register Here.

Attention all volunteers for the Rowdy Lucky 1.5K swim: parking will be in the back of the house to the left of Lucky’s house as you look at the front.  Volunteers, please arrive no later than 6:15 AM


Rowdy and Lucky 1.5K swim next Sunday and more.

The Rowdy and Lucky 1.5 K swim is next Sunday, October 17th. Make sure you get your entry in now. Stop reading this blog, go to the link right now, and register (Sign up Link). Now, you may go back to reading … wait, what, you didn’t register! Okay, go back to the link and sign up. Good, your reward will be in heaven; thanks for signing up. Also, while your signing up you might as well sign up for the 5K Night Ops Frogman swim on Nov 6th

We have awards for 1st – 3rd in all age groups. Since this is the same racecourse as the Golden Mile, and we will have chip timing, there are opportunities to set individual age group records. The current age group course records are linked here.

Swim Course Records

We still get questions about the no vaccination no swimming rule. This rule ended October 1st; therefore, everyone can swim regardless of vaccination status.

Can’t swim but eager to help out? Or perhaps you are on Santa’s bad boy /girl list and need some extra feel-good points to get your name in the other column. Then, please click on this link to volunteer. Just a reminder, all the proceeds from this event go to charity, so you are helping your community by volunteering or preventing coal and switches from ending up in your Christmas stocking.

Please contact Jay Madigan if you can volunteer for this event. We especially need kayakers.  Contact: 

Sign up now for the 5K Night Ops Frogman Swim – supporting the Navy Seal Foundation. Click here to register or find out more information. Saturday Nov. 6th

This video was part of our presentation to the Florida Lake Management Society Conference last month. If you want to catch up on all the environmental projects that are ongoing here at Lake Cane check it out.

Missing Lake Swim Bumper sticker found! No vaccine No Swim rule terminated and more…

We are happy to report that the missing bumper sticker stolen from Lucky’s driveway about a month ago has been returned, with the truck attached. We appreciate all those folks that have been keeping their eyes open for the missing bumper sticker. The attached truck was in relatively good shape with nothing missing, Including the truck bed full of yard waste. The borrower has not been identified, but the truck was towed from a nearby apartment complex. Lucky has not taken back the mojo he placed on the dude as he is still mad that this slacker drove around showing off the Lucky’s Lake Swim bumper sticker, like he had earned it, for about 200 miles. Thanks to the mojo, the guy is more miserable than someone skiing down a moguled course with a mouth packed full of rusty heroin needles.  The moral of the story is, “don’t display a Lucky’s Lake Swim bumper sticker unless you have earned it, or you will get a mojo put on your ass, and they are tougher to remove than a purple tattoo.”

The no vaccine no swimming rule is no more as of October 1st (Friday).  The surge is well past its peak locally, and we appreciate those that have been respectful of our rule and look forward to having them return to the lake swim. Mask wearing and social distancing remain a personal choice at the lake swim (although we always recommend social distancing from Heff).

Please sign up now for the Rowdy and Lucky 1.5K open water swim on Sunday, October 17th. That is right around the corner. The local weathermen are estimating the water temp cone of probability will be between 55 and 95 degrees for the race, which is perfect. While you are at it, don’t forget to sign up for the Navy Seal Foundation 5K night ops Frogman swim on November 6th.

You would think if someone takes your truck and drives it 200 miles they would at least of the courtesy of filling up the gas tank and taking the trash to the dump (they had plenty of money out of Shawn’s wallet to do those simple tasks). Very happy to have the bumper sticker back.  Thanks to everyone who had their eyes open looking for the missing bumper sticker.

The awards are in for the Rowdy and Lucky 1.5K Race to be held on Sunday Oct 17. There will be age groups and a great chance to pick up some of this cool hardware. Sign up now. Proceeds from the event go to the Rosen Aquatic Center and the Lake Cane Restoration Society.  Sign up Here

Take part in history tomorrow morning!

The Special Olympics Swim for Inclusion is tomorrow morning at Lucky’s Lake Swim at 7:45 AM. The regular Lake swim will still be going on, so please come and join the 15 Special Olympic Athletes participating in our swim. In addition, we will be filming a short documentary on the swim as this is the first swim to be a part of the Special Olympics Race for Inclusion. Mainstreaming Special Olympics athletes is an important mission of Special Olympics, so let’s give them all a big Lucky’s Lake Swim welcome. This inaugural swim for inclusion is your opportunity to take part in a historic first. Someday there will be swims for inclusion worldwide, and you can say you took part in the original one. Be a part of history in the making.

Please join Gregg Dedic tomorrow morning at Lucky’s Lake Swim.  Gregg is our local Special Olympics superstar.  He has swam over 1000 miles at Lucky’s Lake Swim, conquered Alcatraz and participated in multiple other open water races.  Gregg will be joined by 14 other Special Olympians tomorrow at Lucky’s Lake swim for the first ever “Swim for Inclusion”.  Don’t miss being a part of history, join us for the swim.

Doc Lucky Meisenheimer

Doc Lucky Meisenheimer

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