Editor’s note: I remain confused; we at Lucky’s Lake swim distinctly remember everyone complaining that the water was too cold to swim in January. With much effort, we had Shawn turn on all the lake heaters, and now everyone is complaining about the water being too hot (except, of course, the brain-eating amoebae, who are reportedly loving it). Which is it, too hot or too cold? Making matters more perplexing is the occasional wetsuit swimmer in 89-degree water. Are they suicidal? Are they on drugs? Are they suicidal and on drugs? Should we attempt to stop them or quietly film the next viral TikTok “Florida Man boils himself.” A moral dilemma for most, however, not for Lucky; you must have morals to have a moral dilemma. I see him setting up his video camera on the dock. Shawn, please turn off the lake heaters; thank you.
Here are some upcoming events:
Monday September 4th Labor Day 7:45 AM
Saturday September 30th Special Olympics Swim for Inclusion. Come join our open-water Special Olympics athletes for a swim—more about signing up in a later post.
Major Milestone update. Not since we dropped the word Aquatica from our milestone awards has there been such a shocking update to our award system. Here are our new milestone award swimming caps. White 25K, yellow 100K, orange 200K, silver 500K, gold 1000K, Red 2000K, 3000K, 5000K. You may ask why red is selected for 2000K and above. Well, we had a 2000K club cap which was black, and everyone one was calling them black head and making pimple jokes like “Oooh, there’s a black head; let me get my comedo extractor” (Ed note: only Lucky thought this was funny). With the color red, even if you call them redheads, there are no jokes about redheads, right? The caps remain free when you hit each milestone, but if you ruin, lose your cap, or get lice in your cap you now can get a replacement for a $10 donation to the Lake Cane Restoration Society. The new caps are all silicone, the old caps were latex, and people’s heads kept swelling up and exploding. (Ed Note: Lucky told me this fact, he’s a doctor, so it must be true.)
If you are looking for a restaurant that appreciates Lucky’s Lake Swimmers (and makes a fantastic Reuben sandwich) look no further than Stephie’s Pub and Irish eatery on OBT in Apopka. Legend has it if you eat or drink something sitting under the Lucky’s Lake Swim logo it will bring you luck. In reading the fine print it does not specify the type of luck you will receive.
It has come to our attention that folks are arriving after our start time of 6:30 am on weekdays and 7:45 pm on Saturdays. There are no other start times from Lucky’s dock. They swim from other docks if you see other people in the water before Lucky’s start time. We have very few rules associated with the swim, but one of them is you are expected to arrive by the start time. You don’t have to start swimming the moment the group begins, but you are expected to be present at the start. Please respect the start time.
Anika (age 70) did her first crossing today. Lucky may look 70, but she doesn’t.
Lucky and his sons John and Jake had a significant publication in the Cureus Journal of Medical Science titled “Measured Submersion Times in Underwater Hockey Are Inconsistent With Its Classification as an Extreme Apneic Sport. This is the first major scientific publication on the sport of underwater hockey. Please click on the article, give it 5-star reviews, and then if you want, read it, but don’t change your five-star reviews after you are done reading. Congratulations to Pete Gold for trying out Underwater Hockey and not dying. He will get his man card stamped if he comes to another practice. You might be thinking, “If Pete can do it, so can I,” and you would be correct. We are always recruiting new members, and we are coed. Join us at the Rosen Aquatic Center Mondays and Wednesdays at 7 pm. Is it better than sex? No, but it is better than sitting at home watching reruns of Gilligan’s Island. If we don’t see you at the pool, we will assume you are at home having sex.